I Can Learn to Hate You
by CaptainNinapants
Summary: Tensions built between Tony and Steve finally reach a tipping point.
1. Chapter 1

Written for the prompt challenge on Deviantart. This is a little civil war-ish, but it's mostly me blowing off steam.

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"How long are we just going to sit here in silence? I have other things I need to do today." Clint muttered in the silent conference room, Steve and Tony sitting on opposite ends of the long table, Steve's arms crossed over his chest as he leaned back in his seat, an unimpressed scowl on his face. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife, yet somehow no one had snapped.

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Barton." Steve grunted harshly, causing some alarm to raise within Clint and the other members of the team. "Nor does it revolve around you, Stark."

Tony, who clearly had his focus elsewhere, snapped back immediately. "Who died and appointed you temporary dictator?"

"Nick Fury." Steve immediately spat, but Tony was already prepared with something to say to that.

"Last I checked he's back, healthier and more vibrant than ever. So I think we", Tony look around the room to see if there was any solidarity within his words to only find hidden faces, "would appreciate you to stop being such a hard ass on us."

"Hey, don't bring me into this. I just want to go home." Clint said, raising his hands in surrender as Tony shot a pointed look at him.

"When have I ever decided that I was above you? I lead the team, yes, but it's hard to lead if you're constantly meddling." Natasha cleared her throat as soon as Steve finished talking, stepping closer to the table and placing her hands on it.

"Rogers, have you ever considered that you're a little out of date for some things?" Her voice was low and smooth, clearly trying not to ruffle any more feathers than she had to. Steve looked at her, eyes briefly expressing betrayal at someone who he thought was his friend speaking against him.

"Yes I know I'm a little old fashioned, but the world is still pretty well the same as it was back then."

"No, it really isn't. And you're just endangering everyone by not growing up with the times, Capsicle." Tony remarked. "By the way, do we even know what happened to Bruce? He was here…."

"He left. Too much stress." Thor quietly chimed in.

"I can see that." Clint murmured, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. No one was sitting except Steve and Tony because they thought that this debriefing would have been far quicker than it was actually turning out. Of course, they should have known better, Steve and Tony had been grating on each other for the past few weeks. It had finally gotten to a point where if they didn't verbally snap the tension would build until someone got hurt. Or worse.

"You almost killed my friends with that stunt you pulled back there." Steve said after the quietness returned to the room like a wave in a pond finally dissipating into smaller ripples.

"You almost failed the mission and cost SHIELD whole lot more than just some of your friends." Tony quipped back, and Steve looked down at his lap.

"I realize that. What I did back there was reckless. But you know what?" His head shot up and looked Tony in the eyes. "You were just as, if more, reckless than I was. So why am I the one getting the blame?"

"I've been responsible for the deaths of innocent men, and those who aren't so innocent. It is awful that we have to take lives, but that you do it so carelessly, Stark, that you don't really think too much of it. It's just you in a suit making some movements that create death, and there's nothing moral behind it. You're killing people because you think that it'll make the objective clearer and easier to get. Nothing is that easy, and you can't make it be like that. You can't put other people's lives on the line in order and then call it being the saviour. If anything, I think you need to take a break, Tony."

Steve took a breath and stood up, his presence like that of an elder about to depart wisdom.

"We used to be friends, and I'd like to think that we still are, but not if this keeps up. Because I don't enjoy being filled with hatred about your actions, especially since I know you're a good guy. But your actions don't tell me that. I'm not a hate kind of guy. But Tony, I can learn to hate you."

Steve let his last word resonate within the conference room before looking at each member present in the room.

"Don't let yourselves get caught on the wrong side of the wire."

With that Steve left, the heavy glass door slowly shutting, his figure walking off into the halls of SHIELD.

"


	2. Chapter 2

I thought I'd be done with this story but then I kind of wanted to keep developing it. This isn't posted on DA, so I suppose it's exclusive content.

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Natasha set her bag down on the couch, the fabric crumpling into itself as it was allowed to relax. She followed suit, removing her boots and then allowing her shoulders to cave, her head to hang low, and her knees pushing up into her face as she struggled to get her heels to grip on the couch. It had been a long day, and now Natasha was really feeling it in the quiet of her home. It was almost too quiet, but Clint was due to be getting home any time now and it would solve that problem.

They didn't live together in the sense that they were seeing each other exclusively, though often times it came off like that. It was cheaper, and Natasha always insisted that it was for the convenience if nothing else. She could only really think of Clint as a friend, not as a lover.

Not that the thought hadn't crossed her mind before, but she just ignored them until they went away.

Slowly Natasha stretched out, straightening her legs and raising her arms above her shoulders, reaching for the ceiling. It felt nice to have a moment to relax, to breathe it in and out and pretend today hadn't been awful. The stretch itself was letting her let the tension flow out of her body, a feeling she cherished for the moments that she had it.

She got up from the couch and walked into the little kitchen, opening the fridge and looking over all the food in it. The blinding white light and the faint bad smell made her make up her mind quickly, dumping a Tupperware full of what now looked like casserole on a plate and shoving it in the microwave before Clint came home.

Just as Natasha pushed the little buttons and breaking the silence with their beeps, Clint's keys jingled as he opened the door.

"Hey, I'm home!" He shouted as he normally did, and Natasha grimaced as she could hear his bag hitting the floor with a thud, wishing that he wouldn't just dump his stuff in the entryway.

"I know you are, I could hear you." She said flatly, walking into the living room area to see Clint stretching just as she had, the hem of his t-shirt riding up just enough for a sliver of his tanned skin to show.

"Anyways," Clint said, rolling his eyes, "today was shit."

"No kidding."

The microwave pierced the air with its shrill alarm, and Natasha disappeared into the kitchen as Clint got comfortable on the couch, turning on the television and flipping to a show that neither of them would watch. When Natasha returned she dropped a cold beer in Clint's lap before taking her seat.

"I really don't think Steve and Tony are going to be able work together anymore." Clint said, twisting off the top to hear a soft pop emit from the bottle. "After Steve left, Tony got all upset and I could see the cogs turning in his head and that scared me, so I left. Where were you?"

"I stayed in the room until Tony left." Natasha murmured with a mouth full of food. "I don't know how I feel about Steve or Tony right now, but I figured it would be better if I just stayed where I was and kept quiet."

"You and observing people. It's like you're a spy or something." Clint laughed, resorting to humour to try and brighten his day. There hadn't been near as many laughs as he had been hoping.

"Or something." Natasha repeated. "Anyways, it was kind of childish that Steve threatened Tony with 'friends-off', don't you think?"

"Oh yeah, definitely." Clint agreed, nodding his head but looking blindly at the television. "But even though that was kind of flawed, the rest of his argument was pretty solid. I mean, Tony is usually the one who gets the rest of us in danger just because he thinks that he can solve the problem, even if the problem is one that can't be solved, you know? It's kind of frustrating that he does it, gets reprimanded, and then just goes out and does it again."

"Stark is untouchable, you mean." She simplified, understanding completely what Clint was saying. And for some of it, Natasha even found herself agreeing. There had been many missions that she felt were unusually unsafe for her and Clint, maybe because they weren't seem on the same level as the rest of the avengers. There was super speed, super strength, suits of metal, and a guy who would get angry and smash. Two spies, which is what they were just assumed to be, were considered the weak links, even if Tony or Steve would never say that out loud.

"Yeah. I just think someone needs to take him down a peg. Because we could do the same things he does, you and I, and if we did it again we'd be so fired not even McDonalds would hire us."

Natasha said nothing, chewing her food and looking at Clint, then at the television.

"But I suppose they're going to talk this out or Fury is going to get involved and it will all be resolved within three to five business days."

Natasha swallowed her food, feeling a lump in her throat at the situation being painted in her mind.

"That's where I think you're wrong, Clint. I don't think that Steve and Tony are at a fixable place anymore, where SHIELD can just step in and treat them like children. I think it is more conflict than we really see and I don't see the end of it, which is almost scarier than being able to predict what's going to happen. Yeah?"

Clint grunted in agreement.

"Regardless, I wonder what side of the wire we're on." He said after a few moments of silence between them, the television blaring on in the background.

"Only time will tell."

The rest of the night was spent in silence as they both pondered what their futures might look like, each worried about their own problems. Natasha had always enjoyed how SHIELD provided her protection that wouldn't otherwise be available for someone like her, and Clint wasn't the most important member of the team, but at least he was positively contributing to society. Neither of them particularly wanted to lose that status because of a fight between Steve and Tony, two of their friends. There was nothing desirable about this situation.

Natasha washed her dishes in the sink and went to bed, quickly falling asleep after deciding that she would worry more in the morning. Clint stayed up late, nearly all night, drinking and trying to sort through his emotions, unsure how to process how the day had passed.


	3. Chapter 3

This was also posted on DA, for the prompt 'memory'. Kind of broke my heart to write this.

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Pacing back and forth, Steve muttered to himself, trying to calm down and sort his thoughts out. There was just too much conflicting him about Tony and their past, and how things had changed so much between them since they first began as a small team of six people against a seemingly impossible task. There had been so much more to their dynamic, especially between Steve and Tony. Sure, they got into fights then, but none this bad. Steve couldn't help but feel guilty over what he had done, but he felt secure in knowing that what he said had needed to be said for a long while.

Thanks to the events in D.C., he had to buy a new apartment there as well as a permanent place in New York. That place in Brooklyn that he had desperately wanted had come true thanks to pulling a few favours, and now Steve stood in his nearly invisible to the public apartment, wondering if what he had done was really right. Sure, it needed to be said, but that didn't mean he needed to act on it. The team could have kept on functioning as a dangerous and dysfunctional family, but at least they would still be a family.

As much as Steve thought that he was a good man alone, who could make decisions and act independently, he desperately craved an audience to talk with. Peggy or Bucky or literally anyone, even Tony at this point. But there was no one, and Steve felt like he would be abusing his power if he called one of the other avengers hoping for them to confer with him.

So Steve stayed in his apartment and didn't think. He turned on the television and allowed himself to turn off his brain. Sooner than later, Steve fell asleep in front of the bright screen, slipping into a well-deserved slumber.

When Steve woke next, it was because of his phone ringing. It was the middle of the night, the television softly airing infomercials, the rest of the apartment absolutely silent. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tried to focus on the number. He didn't recognize it, but figured that it might be from work.

"Hello?" He asked cautiously, unsure of who would call at this time of night.

The voice on the phone was gentle, a woman's voice, and soft. The words that Steve heard didn't seem real, this entire situation just didn't seem real. When the woman was done telling him what she had to say, she asked if he was okay or if he needed someone to come over and make sure he'd be okay. Steve didn't say anything, his brain locked into a mode he hadn't experienced in a while where it would only fixate on one thing, and the rest of the world became fuzz.

He hung up the phone and sat staring blankly at the television, trying to fully accept that Peggy Carter, his Peggy Carter, was dead.

It wasn't fair that such a bright light had been snuffed, but Steve figured that she had led a full and happy life without him, for the most part, and so it would be okay. It wasn't like she still was brimming with young, vibrant potential anymore. In fact, the past few months had been really hard to watch Peggy deteriorate while Steve, who could usually save the day, found himself helpless.

For some reason, Steve's brain recalled the time that he was sitting under a tarp in the rain after the unsuccessful show for the 107th. He felt pointless, aimless, like he was the product of a very long and distasteful joke. But Peggy showed up, talked with him, and told him that she thought he was more than just a monkey in a suit. Inspired him to go on and save people.

From that little moment in time on, every time Steve saw Peggy he was reminded that at least one person saw potential in him, and that inspired him to be a great man.

But Steve wasn't sure if Peggy would be proud of what he did today. He wasn't sure if she would align with him, even after he explained his side of the story. She would tell him to do the right thing, to do what made him feel like he was doing the right thing. But what if the right thing was actually the wrong thing?

After a while it finally clicked with Steve that Peggy was now no more than just a memory in his brain. Not many people were still alive when she was at her prime, when she was the fearless woman who had inspired Steve to greatness. All those early times were now just memories, something that could just as easily be forgotten as the events that had transpired that day.

Something about that ate away within Steve until he finally turned off the television and went to his room to sleep.

He slept fully clothed under the covers, and cried until he couldn't stay awake any longer. Steve cried for Peggy, for Tony, for the memories that were only his now. There wasn't anything to say that the crying would help him feel better, but at least Steve was thankful it tired him out.


	4. Chapter 4

An exclusive!

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Bruce paced back and forth in the lab, the door barricaded from anyone coming in. His breathing was heavy and laboured, his hands wringing each other in quick motion as he tried to regain control of his thoughts. He didn't think he would hulk out, but knew that it was because of his carelessness that it nearly happened in a room full of his friends in a meeting that he had necessitated.

The guilt of having such a close call was freaking him out.

A week ago, he had gone out on a mission with Steve's trainees, mostly because they wanted him to retrieve the weapons that had been built with the tesseract instead of them handling materials they didn't really understand. This was normal for Bruce, he could do that comfortably.

But then Tony caught wind that Steve was running a mission without consulting him first after the mission had been done and the weapons had been retrieved. The materials Bruce had taken were under deep security because it was Tony who was providing the money for the security crew, because he was supposed to be doing analysis on these weapons but hadn't had the time yet. The work that would normally be given to Bruce to keep him distracted was given to Tony, who still wasn't near as reliable as one would hope. There were some other problems too that Bruce didn't listen to, mostly because this wasn't his battle. This wasn't the hill that he wanted to hulk out on, he just wanted to help out his friends in peace and not get in the way.

With enough pacing and hiding away Bruce managed to forget about the whole affair until the meeting sent him spiraling downwards with guilt and fear. It wasn't that they were saying anything hurtful to each other, rather it was the lack of willing conversation and the associated guilt that was tearing Bruce up on the inside.

So he ran out of there like a weak child, afraid, and entered his own personal seclusion until the storm passed.

The pacing was starting to make Bruce dizzy, and he realized he hadn't eaten anything substantial in a few hours. So rather than focusing on calming down, which didn't help at all, he thought more about how he was hungry and where he could find food.

It was late, he could just order a pizza to the tower and go downstairs to pick it up. A quick trip, downstairs, and then back to his room so he could further his personal time. Or Bruce could go to the refrigerator and see what food was left in there that needed to be eaten before it went bad. If Pepper was still awake, if she was even in town, maybe she would eat with him if he cooked something. All of these options, but Bruce still found himself paralyzed by the idea of going anywhere and interacting with people, especially after the day's events.

Bruce retreated to his room without eating, promising to go out to a nice healthy restaurant tomorrow to eat something good for him. The hunger was his motivating force.

On the way to his room, Bruce couldn't help but notice that there was a light under Thor's door. He kept walking past it, but found it curious that someone like Thor, who could just as well escape and not have to deal with this nonsense. He was a god, he had bigger things to deal with than a squabble between his two friends.

Bruce just figured that Thor had a better idea of what was work and what was personal life, something that Bruce hadn't perfected quite yet. And it almost seemed like he wouldn't have to, because with the Avengers kind of disbanding after Ultron, and now this fight between Tony and Steve it looked like there wouldn't be a work or a personal life to associate with it.

So maybe it was just time for him to leave. There wasn't anything keeping him here if the work that he usually did went to Tony or the SHIELD labs, and if he was needed, it wasn't worth the stress of staying.

Once in his room, Bruce logged onto his computer and opened up a web page and a word document. There weren't any places left in the world that still held that allure that the world once had before he became who he was now. But he figured a few months in Europe, some time spent in Asia, and maybe some relaxing in the Caribbean would be long enough for him to get away and come to terms with himself.

Some soul searching would do Bruce good, he decided as he researched plane tickets and places to stay. It wasn't him being childish and running away from his problems because his biggest problem followed him everywhere like a shadow. This was justified more as a need to allow for Bruce to get away from the stress and be himself without worrying about how his friends would react. Within the night Bruce had booked a place to stay in Austria and a plane ticket to the U.K. He would be leaving in the morning regardless of what anyone thought.

All he wanted was some peace and quiet.


	5. Chapter 5

This one is also on Deviantart. Is kind of ideologically sensitive.

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The fact that there was no chance of peace now left Tony in pieces. He stood in his tower, hands in the pockets of his suit after an unsuccessful meeting with some government officials, wondering how far down a fall it was. He knew how far it was, but he wondered if it would hurt for him to fall. If he just pushed through the glass, let his body go limp, and fall down until the sidewalk exposed him inside and out. It would be less painful to be left in pieces like that than what was happening now, with the strain between him and the people he considered his family.

But maybe that was Tony's problem. He always thought that if someone liked him, if they put up with him like the Avengers had, that they were family. Maybe he was too clingy. Too trusting after a short amount of time, something that Tony didn't think was possible.

Steve had a point, Tony decided. He was reckless, and he didn't often take responsibility. Though if Steve had known Tony before, he would have seen that who we was now was an improvement. That Tony had changed for the better. He was no means complete but at least there was progress.

So Tony arranged a meeting with some people who were beginning to question the superhero grip on the world, and tried to work with them to fix the problems that he had created. There could be a solution in holding heroes accountable, knowing who they are and lowering their god-like status to something more approachable, more realistic to who they actually were.

Except Thor. He was a god and deserved to be treated as such.

The meeting was secret, under a code name in a place Tony had picked out. There couldn't be a chance of Steve picking up on this because Tony wanted to tell him himself, wanted to sit him down and explain his actions.

But that wasn't attainable, even if Tony was as cautious as he could have been. He was sitting in the car on the way back from the meeting, checking his phone, when Steve texted him. His message was brief but rang clear.

 _How could you?_

Tony heard it in Steve's voice, heard the stress that made Steve sound like a mother scolding her children.

And now he was here, contemplating just ending it because one of the most powerful men in the world was now feeling weak and powerless.

Tony tried to shake the feeling, but couldn't. So he walked away from the window, letting the world carry on unobserved, and poured himself his first drink in over a month.


End file.
